The Sleeveless Parliament

In the period between the UK Prime Minister advising of a General Election on a rain-sodden day in London and the Dissolution of Parliament there was a hive of activity in the “Whitehall Bubble”.

Amongst the time-honoured processes that were triggered by the announcement there were some novel measures hurriedly introduced….

By leveraging the state-of-emergency-style secondary legislation (introduced during the period referred to as “the COVID pandemic”), little-used provisions of the Standing Orders of the House of Commons and some arcane practices and procedures in Erskine May the following measures were introduced unopposed……

When in Parliament and representing their constituents, Members of Parliament shall wear a white sleeveless T-shirt showing the trademark image of the Palace of Westminster portcullis.

For  their swearing-in the Clerk at Table would occupy the Speaker’s Chair, having first placed the Mace in its customary position and opened both Dispatch Boxes.

In alphabetical order each elected representative would be called from the Lobby by their first and last name, followed by name of the constituency he/she has been elected to represent.

The Member would then approach the table and prostrate themselves before the Mace, whilst uttering the words of their first name and last name, and asserting they would serve their constituents’ interests to the best of their abilities.

This procedure would be televised live and syndicated on livestream media channels.  Such proceedings would be admissible without question in Courts of Law.